Relationships and plants

It is with great regret that I acknowledge that the plant I held so dear to me is unwell 

Bought it a while back from Ikea and whilst I accept that the plants from Ikea seldom last (they are so healthy and green in the store but as soon as you bring them home, they start to die .. ), this one defied the odds and managed to exist for longer than the others I have had in the past.

It was a dainty little thing, very healthy and so I decided to re-pot it so that it would grow better and the roots would have more room. But then … one of the leaves started to lose it’s colour .. and so I cut it off, even though I didn’t want to but I knew that if I didn’t the illness it had caught would spread throughout killing the whole plant.

Gradually, one by one, the leaves are falling until one day I will have to get rid of the whole plant.

Relationships are like plants. If the maladies are not removed earlier on, they ferment and with time, infest the whole of the plant until the root has been attacked. Sometimes perhaps we don’t pay attention to the fact that relationships require a lot of care and attention not forgetting the right soil, food and conditions like a plant.

The importance of our own foundation

Change is imminent. Everything changes, nothing will ever stay the same. This is a fact that no-one can, ever has, nor indeed can they ever refute.

Life changes with the passing of the years; our thoughts will change the more we encounter the world; our minds through the increased interaction with others around us; our bodies change as nature must do what it has been ordained and age catches up with us; and so too does love.

Love, is something that is constantly evolving and as it does, it sometimes takes us by surprise especially if and when we are not adapted to it’s ever changing nature. As women this is something of which we must be aware. I say that as in the past this has meant nothing to me, but the other day I saw something that made me stop in my tracks and really think about me as a woman and my relation to love in the face of change. 

I was walking past the town centre and saw that a prominent part of the old structure is now rubble. Where once stood a great building, now nothing remained. I remember being a child, holding my parent’s hands, walking to town every Saturday morning. It was an excursion for us; for me an expedition, seeing these huge buildings towering above me. And yet, there I was passing nothing but emptiness.

Yes, they would build something new to replace the old building. Change is imminent. Sure it is. Of course it is. As these thoughts raced through my mind, I stopped. Suddenly. There in my tracks. I looked back at that space of now nothingness and looked to the building next to it. It was still standing, still that popular shop with customers walking in and out with their tills buzzing as they gladly took money for the sale of their goods (especially in light of the lamentable economic climate). This shop seemed unaffected by the disappearance of the building next to it. It was carrying on.

I reflected. Like that building, how many women, how many of us can say that when a loved one, when a man leaves our life, how many of us have that foundation of our own to carry on going and not crumble to the ground? Not many perhaps. I certainly never used to have it. That is why I went through a nervous breakdown when a man once walked out of my life to be with another woman.

You know how they say, ‘be strong, live for yourself first’ I am beginning to understand why they say it. And with the passing of each day, I am beginning to figure out how to do it. The starting point has to be a solid foundation. ■